
New segment I thought of: what if movie characters could share their own Top 5 lists? Sounds stupid, but I already wrote it, so here it goes. The comments are meant to be the characters, but they probably resemble my own, albeit with too few laughs and too much hyperbole.
Remember Robert McKee, Brian Cox's screenplay doctor from Adaptation (click for the video), the guy who harps nothing but praise on Casablanca and helps the goofy Nick Cage write his own screenplay about the schizophrenic cop who is also the killer? I love his little role in that film, probably because I remember back in film school reading countless articles and attending seminars about how to write a better screenplay, only to discover I hated writing screenplays. Here are five films I assume he would recommend anyone "borrow" from when writing their own screenplays.
NOTE: I was completely unaware that Robert McKee was a real person - I just assumed he was a fictional person based on similar real people. This list is meant to be the character from Adaptation, not the real guy. Don't sue me Mr. McKee, I actually do respect the work you do and the movies your students have made - I'm also judgment proof.
5. Bicycle Thieves: Simple, tight, and the title tells it all. If you are going for heartbreaking, make sure its utterly destroying, yet vague and foreign, so people add all of their own misery into your film. That's the difference between a depressing arthouse loser and the only foreign film people will see that year.
4. Fargo: Fake true story about a stuttering loser, a gruff father-in law, two amateurish criminals (one quiet, one funny looking and talkative), a desperate former boyfriend, a husband who makes breakfast in bed and paints ducks, and the best female role and best cop role of the decade in Marge Gunderson, and throw them into North Dakota, and what do you get? A blank check for the rest of your life in Hollywood, and the best Hitchcock in suburbia since Shadow of a Doubt.
3. Singin' in the Rain: If you want Hollywood to love your film, you mock Hollywood (but a past version, showing how much more 'hip' the present is), have some great song moments, a sickly sweet yet safe romance, a buddy who is always there for you, and the ultimate happy ending.
2. Dog Day Afternoon: comedy, drama, romance, action, buddy flick, alternative sexuality, caper, shootout, police procedural - is there any genre this screenplay doesn't cover? The only problem is that it wasn't "generic" enough to be a true blockbuster - make it lesbians in the remake and you have solid gold.
1. Casablanca: The only perfect screenplay, it is above any critique or review, and it still makes money today. You think anyone ever has ever told a screenwriter "we like your movie, but its reminds us too much of Casablanca, so we can't make it." This is the movie you steal from to pay for your kid's college.
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