This post is for two things: to test these star images, and as a primer for how I will use star rankings and reviews. First, I don't plan to just post a star ranking, but as I have been known to be verbose when discussing films, I am going to make a very, very strong effort to keep these star reviews brief.
Second, these are going to be SUBJECTIVE star reviews. I'm going to somewhat follow Ebert's method for star reviews (giving five stars to a Bond movie would not mean I think its as great as the Godfather, its just a great Bond movie). It will also be similar to the "Little Man" reviews from The San Francisco Chronicle, in that my star ratings will focus on my own reaction to the film more than anything else. As Ebert says everything better, here is a piece on factors that affect his review scores.
A final distinction: unlike real critics and journalists, my reviews will have zero relevance to whether I think anyone else will like the film. These are my personal, often immediate reactions to movies I have seen, nothing more, nothing less:
Five Star:
This is going to be reserved for films that floored me, for one reason or another. Think walking out of Pulp Fiction or The Matrix and just having your mind blown. I might indicate in the review whether I think the film would still floor me on repeat viewing. I don't plan on giving out too many of these rankings - I'm not going to give them to movies that I think might grow in my estimation or might be great and I just need to think about it more. Five Stars are for those movie I loved before the credits had finished rolling.
Recently Seen Example: Chungking Express. Oscar Best Picture Winner Example: The Godfather. Vince Vaughn Comedy Example: Swingers.
Four Star:
More than just a good movie - its a VERY good movie, a movie that has something special about it. Could be a movie that reached for greatness and just fell short, or what should have been simply a good movie that had something extra that made it special. I expect a lot of these movies will end up being great films that I just didn't recognize at the time, such as Unforgiven or The Queen. Its very likely these films will often hold up much better than some movies that would be five star films as I walked out of the theater (Children of Men comes to mind). Basically, this is more than just walking out of the theater happy - this is knowing that at least some part of this film, a shot, a scene, a performance, something, will stay with me for a long time.
Recently Seen Example: Moon. Oscar Best Picture Winner Example: No Country for Old Men. Vince Vaughn Comedy Example: Old School.
Three Stars:
This is a good movie that I really enjoyed. I was happy I watched it, and it left me feeling satisfied. It could be a movie that does everything well, and the only downside is that I can't think of anything great that will last with me. I do not, in any way, intend for a 3 star rating to mean average. A 3 star movie is a movie that has every reason to be proud, and when I think back about the film, I will remember it fondly. Sadly, 3 star movies are often the ones I remember least as time goes by.
Recently Seen Example: The Hurt Locker. Oscar Best Picture Winner Example: Shakespeare in Love. Vince Vaughn Comedy Example: Wedding Crashers.
Two Stars:
A movie that didn't do much for me. It might be a good movie with some serious flaws, or a good movie that didn't really ever grab my interest. It could also be a bad movie that has some good things going for it, or a film that I know is "great" or "important" that just bored me to tears (such as most Italian Neo-Realist films). Again, two stars is not meant to mean I didn't like the movie (take (500) Days of Summer, which I think I did like, and might be a rare 2.5 star film), it just means that my immediate reaction was nothing special. In other words: "meh."
Recently Seen Example: (500) Days of Summer. Oscar Best Picture Winner Example: Chariots of Fire. Vince Vaughn Comedy Example: Dodgeball.
One Star:
Here are the movies I just flat out didn't like. A "non-great" movie that bores me to tears, a film that just does absolutely nothing to me. Basically, a movie I have zero intention of ever seeing again. For those who know me, this is a film that I would walk out of and not have any desire to talk about - its almost unimaginable, huh?
Recently Seen Example: None since I started this blog. Oscar Best Picture Winner Example: Chicago. Vince Vaughn Comedy Example: Starsky and Hutch.
Zero Star:
This is the fun rating. This isn't for movies I didn't like, this is for movies I hated. A lot of these movies are probably better, on many levels, than one star movies. One star movies are utterly forgettable, and provoke no response. These are movies that, for one reason or another, just get me going. Good actors doing bad work. Ridiculous premises. Pretentious films that are utterly shallow. Super shaky-cam in a damn dialogue scene at a diner!!! I look forward to writing these reviews, because it means I definitely had something to say, and it won't be pleasant.
Recently Seen Example: Public Enemies. Oscar Best Picture Winner Example: Crash. Vince Vaughn Travesty Example: Psycho.
Special Note: The Half Star:
I don't intend to use a lot of half-star ratings, and I will make a serious effort to try and stick to whole stars. That said, sometimes there are movies I just can't decide on. I expect this will mostly come up with 2.5 and 4.5 star movies, as there are movies that I might love, but already have doubts about that love, and there are movies that I thought were "meh" except for a couple of things that I did really enjoy (a good performance in an otherwise run of the mill film, for example). If for some reason you really attach value to my rankings, err on the side of caution, and assume a half-star film is closer to the lower, rather than upper, value.
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